Heat is Good

Who: This post is for people who pay the heating costs in their home. You will also like this post if you think you are spending too much on heating costs.
What: This post has some simple tips and tricks for saving money on heating costs for your home during the winter.

So, do your heating costs have you fired up? Does the gas company make your blood boil? Are you freezing but wish you had the money to be toasty warm? Thousands around the world suffer from FMAO (Freezing My Ass Off) or HISE (Heat Is So Expensive) syndrome. It’s worse if you live in the cool part of town, i.e. New England. Today’s quick post will give you some ways to fatten up your wallet and keep your home hot at the same time.

  • Windows and doors leak!! Escaping warm air and intruding cold air are the number one causes of FMAO and HISE! Yes, it’s true. If you leave your garage door open all night, your house is going to be damn cold. Same with your front door. If you live in the right part of town, leaving your front door may leave your house empty too. So remember, close windows and doors whenever you leave or enter the house.
  • More about windows and doors. Many times windows and doors have small cracks that can allow the elements to infiltrate your home. A $5 cannister of caulk should fix this right up. Inspect the windows and doors for the offending cracks and slam them with your industrial strength caulk gun.
  • Turn off the heat when you’re not home. If you work a 9-7 job and no one will be home to enjoy the heat, turn it completely off all day and have the thermostat get warm when you wake up and around when you get home. The when you wake up part is really important. There are few things worse in this world than getting out of a nice hot shower and stepping out into antarctica. This, in and of itself will cut your heating bill in half (if you don’t do it already). Just remember that you only want to do this if no one is home. You don’t want Junior or Fido catching a cold.
  • Stop taking hour long showers, you lazy bastard. Hot, hot showers (the ones we all love), suck up heat like none other. Just don’t shower at all. Your wallet will be much happier. Your coworkers and friends, that’s another story. If you want to half-ass it, you can just take regular length showers, instead of just quitting showering altogether. But you’ll just be that guy, the one who only gives 50%, and not his all.
  • See that awesome bookcase you have over there? Guess what? It’s blocking a heating vent and costing you an arm and a leg. Make sure all your big furniture, including couches, televisions, and waterbeds aren’t near heating ducts. Blocking a heating duct will prevent heat from proliferating in your house. Then you’ll be cold. Then you will increase the heat. Then you will spend more money, and still be cold. Then you’ll perform poorly at work due to coldness and stress. You’ll get laid off. Your spouse will leave you. Your life will be ruined. All of this, because you didn’t feel like moving your bookcase.
  • If you live in a mansion, all by yourself, you probably have a lot of rooms that aren’t used. Just turn off the heat to those rooms and close the door. The heat won’t waste it’s time wandering around in there and it can concentrate on pleasuring the rooms you frequent, instead. Note: Ignore the fact that living in a mansion may preclude you from being concerned about your heating costs.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And a checkup a year keeps the heating bills from being ruining your day. Make sure you check your heating system to make sure it is operating at peak efficiency before the cold season hits. You’ll thank me later.
  • This is a more expensive tip, but if you find that you want to invest some overhead to save yourself money in the long run, I like you already. Poor insulation is a key reason why many homes have really, really, ridiculously good looking high heating costs. Many places key places lack insulation and installing the proper insulation can increase heat retention in a home exponentially. Examine the insulation of your home. If you find that a good number of places are poorly insulated, and you plan to live in the home for many winters, then it may be best to bite the bullet now and spend some money on insulation, to save yourself money in the future.
  • Another tip is to get double-paned windows installed. If you put your hand up against a single paned window, you’ll notice something peculiar. It is COLD. That can’t be RIGHT. The windows are supposed to keep OUT the cold. But alas, things don’t always do what they’re supposed to do. Double-paned windows are magical in that they KEEP out heat. In fact, a little birdie told me that some of the windows are 9 times more effective when it comes to keeping the ice man from declaring war on your home.
  • If you want to do a Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor impression (wooh wooh!) you can always try doing it yourself. Here’s a great article from the do it yourself network about installing special door/window hinges and screens to save you money on heaving cost. MORE POWER!

I hope you enjoyed this quick post. Leave me some comments so I know that you love me. Even if you don’t love me, just pretend. Any tips of your own? Share them with your friend Willy.

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